Sundays are when Bangkokians do the unthinkable and show even less enthusiasm to get from A to B than usual.
The average walking pace declines to such an extreme that some people can be spotted moving backwards.
That’s not a bad thing — unless you’re meeting someone.
Sunday is my favourite time to unwind, step outside the usual perimeter of neighbourhood coffee shops, and see what’s happening on Sukhumvit and beyond.
Here is the Young Urban D’Bag guide to spending a Sunday in Bangkok.
Use it, abuse it and troll it as you see fit.
And let us know in the comments how you’ll be spending your Sunday in the city.
Take A Pleasant Trip to Lumpini Park
Does your girlfriend hate lizards?
Do you want to mess with her mind?
Take her to Lumpini Park, and wait for the arrival of one of these bad boys:
The famous Lumpini Monitor Lizard can grow up to 10 feet, and little does your loved one need to know… he is absolutely harmless.
Stand by for some priceless reactions before that tidbit sinks in.
Lumpini is swarming in ‘lazy’ attractions, including: free roaming wildlife, pop-up concerts, food vans and the famous swan pedalo.
Guiding a plastic swan across a serene lake may seem like a peaceful afternoon. But in the blazing heat, trust me — it’s bloody knackering.
I docked after 30 minutes, marinated in sweat, well and truly gassed; shamed by the bouncing energy of laughing Thai children (who presumably didn’t spend the previous night swimming in Hendrick’s).
Like some of us.
- Bring a cap.
- Bring some sunnies.
- Do not wear grey.
Stuff yourself stupid at Afternoon Tea
If you’ve succeeded in enraging your lizard-fearing girlfriend, you may wish to escape the doghouse.
How about a little Sunday romance?
You can do worse than a trip for Afternoon Tea.
Everybody knows these meals are overpriced, pretentious and packed with enough sugar to send even the hardiest Thai in to a diabetic coma.
Which is exactly why I like them.
Popular Afternoon Tea destinations on Sukhumvit include:
- Another Hound in Emporium
- Le Macaron at Sofitel Sukhumvit
- Orchid Cafe at Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit
- Mondo at Hilton Sukhumvit
Trawl the Weekend Markets
There are a bunch of pop-up weekend markets on Sukhumvit.
Ekkamai Gateway and K-Village are two of the best.
Here you’ll find baked goods, organic toiletries, fresh food, every last smoothie combination under the South East Asian sun… and a Tour De Force in middle-class hustling.
If you are farang, expect a dozen different samples shoved in your face.
“Would you like to try our bread?”
“Sir, where are you from? Come and taste our juice!”
“Excuse me, can you pay my mortgage?”
These markets are enjoyable, but you’ll need to learn to say “No!” to avoid spending the night curled up like a stuffed possum:
This little guy made the news when he broke in to a pastry store and indulged himself so heroically that he was found the next morning — anchored to the spot — unable to move.
Find a Good Beer Garden
Did you know that November marks the official start of Bangkok Beer Garden Season?
This will be music to the ears of the local expat community; most of which has been left gasping for Singha since the last festival ended in January.
What better way to celebrate the Sabbath than by detonating your liver in the glorious sunshine?
I’m partial to Craft’s incredible selection of ales (featured on WOS here), but there are plenty of beer gardens to choose from: try the lager tents in front of Central World; Mikkeller Bangkok; Wishbeer Home Bar; and Beer Garden Ekamai at the start of Soi 63.
Just remember, fellow louts:
No tinnies from Villa between 2-5pm.
Smash the Huntsman’s Sunday Roast
The Huntsman mancave is located in the basement of The Landmark Hotel.
You’ll spot it when you see it.
There’s a bunch of fantastic looking meat sitting outside it.
The roast runs from 11:30am until 4pm.
It’s 790 baht per person. The special deal is ‘Come 4 Pay 2‘.
That’s good news for families.
And particularly for any ‘Nana-No-Money Lotharios’ seeking an affordable foursome with all the trimmings.
Don’t forget the bread and butter pudding.
And get there before 3pm to avoid me eating it all.
Push your sweat glands to the limit at Chatuchak
It’s a rite of passage for any Bangkok tourist to go to Chatuchak on a spare Sunday.
At least once.
I don’t mean explore Chatuchak.
I don’t mean take in the sights at Chatuchak.
I mean, simply, go there. Set foot.
See how long you can withstand the inferno.
Chatuchak is an assault on the senses.
A labyrinth of over 8000 humid stalls (the largest market in Thailand) selling just about everything you could possibly need, and a lot of things that nobody has ever needed.
The market is open from 9am to 6pm on Saturdays and Sundays, plus evenings on Friday.
Easiest way to get there is on the BTS Sukhumvit Line — head all the way to Mo Chit, then surf the crowds.
- Go in the morning
- Drink a lot of water
- Take a map — Nancy Chandler‘s is the best
- Go hard
- Go fast
- Try not to buy any small cute animals.
Nothing says Farang Gone Crazy like the sweaty guy hugging a confused 3-week-old Pomeranian — nervously boarding a 600 baht Tuk Tuk back to his wife at the Marriott.
“So how did you get on whilst I was at the spa?”
“Well, I lost half my weight in fluids, contracted the s**ts, and bought us a puppy. Sundays here are CRAZY.”
“Gee, honey. That’s such an inspiring journey. Let’s be digital nomads forever.”
Featured image is by barnyz and is used under a Creative Commons licence